After napping in my car for a couple of hours after they brought me down off the mountain, I went and got some breakfast and then returned to the park to watch the finishers from all of the races and wait for Dave.
It turned out to be a long day since Dave didn't come in until about 8:45pm and I had a lot of time to think about things. All dnf's are hard to take but I've been getting a lot of practice at it lately and no that isn't a good thing If there is one good thing in any of them it's that it wasn't due to my fitness. I am running as well as I ever have and in some ways I'm in better shape than ever. And that makes it all the more frustrating.
As I sat there and walked around and sat there and walked around and repeated during the day I was thinking perhaps it is just time for me to give these 100's up. It gets really expensive to do these things and not finish them. Why am I spending all this money and beating my body up anyway. Perhaps it's time to concentrate on what I am doing well now and that is to focus on my speed at shorter distances. It's something that I enjoy and I don't have to worry about dnf's and they are a lot cheaper.
But one thing that was really eating at me was the fact that I missed out on getting my Western States Qualifier. I really want to have a chance to go back one time to make up fro my stupid race in 2007 and do it before I get too old to have a chance to finish. But now I had no qualifier and my travel budget and previously scheduled races for the rest of the year is full so i guess that is just a dream I was going to have to let go of. Yep , my mind was made up.
The next morning I attended the pancake breakfast and awards ceremony and it was really hard watching everyone come up and get their buckles and finishers shirts. Nothing I could do about it but put it behind me and concentrate on recovering and getting ready for the next events I have planned. And you know, I am ok with that. I have plenty of other goals and dreams to work on. If I never go to WS that will be ok. I went 4 years without doing 100 miler and I can be happy if I never do another one. So many things out there to do and as long as it's running I love it.
Well, anyway I decided to take a look and see what qualifying races may be still available and it seems like I found one that I can actually squeeze into my schedule and not spend a fortune on travel to do. It is my one last shot and if I can do it then it will keep me in the 100 miler game for at least one more year. It's the Tussey Mountainback 50 miler in PA in Oct. I just need to run it in under 11 hours which should easily doable for me if I stay healthy between no and then.
So what's the next step. Keep doing what I am doing. I will stay focused on my goals for the year which is mainly a marathon pr at Wineglass and get a BQ. I plan to run as many miles with my wonderful Angels as possible and along the way help them to achieve their goals as they help keep me motivated to achieve mine. I have been having the best years of my life training with my average miles higher for the past 3.5 years than in anytime in my 37 years of running. And you haven't seen anything yet ! I am going to train even more and harder to be sure that when I look back in a few years I can't say that I didn't give it my best shot. Yep, I want to do things that amaze myself !